fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
