Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
