can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
