You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
