so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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