TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Never joke about your clitoris.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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