Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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