What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize