only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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