I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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