I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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