we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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