new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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