guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
