I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
thus making me awesome and them whores
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
