You just made me feel so damn special
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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