plz talk dirty to me
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
