my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
