The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
