I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
