Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize