She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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