doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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