well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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