Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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