I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize