just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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