Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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