Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
