I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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