you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
