one might say we're banned from that church
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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