hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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