As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
