i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
