you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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