so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
