I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
