the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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