no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
