so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
