idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
