I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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