Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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