I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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