I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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