We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
