how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
