how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
