She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize