The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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