My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
