i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize