I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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