is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
