I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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