i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Is it because I queefed?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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