Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
