She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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